What is Bribing?
Well first we have to define what is meant by bribe? According to dictionary.com bribe means “persuade (someone) to act in one’s favor, typically illegally or dishonestly, by a gift of money or other inducement.” Bribe does not have a “good” connotation. The gift of money or other inducement also gives bribe a bad sound. We do not want our children to think that they will receive something of material value to do things for themselves.
Are material rewards sending the wrong message?
If we give them something like material things whenever they accomplish something, they are receiving the message that they will always receive material rewards for doing the “right” thing. This would set them up for disappointments in life as sometimes no one even knows you have done the right thing except you. You will not receive recognition or material rewards except knowing you have made an accomplishment. We do not always receive awards and gifts for doing things. We should derive reward just from the accomplishment itself. Some parents give children toys every time they make a potty success. That is a bit much.
What Do We Do?
But at the same time, we do not want our children to feel that they have not done something that is laudable. The should still gain a sense of accomplishment which motivates them to continue and progress. We can accomplish this by giving them little motivational words of praise, hugs and small things. When potty training, we can give them things like stickers to put on their potty charts.
Acknowledgement is key
Give them a hug when they make it to the potty in time. We should not make it a very big occasion for everything they do, but some acknowledgement is key to them growing up with a sense of self worth. This will keep them striving for some progress and give them encouragement to accomplish their new tasks. With everything there is a balance. Rewards and praises are no exception even with potty training.
P.S. Do you think it is good to reward your child when they accomplish a goal?
Is there a difference between rewards and bribes?
Should children always receive material rewards?
What do you do when your child reaches a goal or accomplishment?
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